Cafe life with Toddlers: Top 12 tips for a stress free experience

Living the Melbourne Cafe Life

For a lot of Melbournians when you are in your 20’s and early 30’s going out to cafes and eating out is a regular thing. Everyone loves their smashed avo’s. We take our friends or our partner, order our food and drinks, and enjoy the noise around us. 

 

But then all of a sudden, we have kids and get a rude shock — Cafe life is no longer as easy as it once was. It used to be spontaneous, fun, and nothing to think twice about. But now with a toddler or tribe in tow – food suddenly seems more expensive, especially if the family finances are not as they used to be, and it all seems a little hectic. 

 

But it doesn’t have to be. For me, it’s more fun taking my toddlers to cafes than it is going without them.

Here are our top 12 tips for an enjoyable and stress free, toddler experience at your local cafe:

 

1. Start them young 

On the drive home from the hospital, after my son was born, we stopped off on the way for a coffee at a local cafe. This is taking the ‘start them young’ to a whole other level. 

 

Now not everyone is ready for that. It wasn’t our intention, we hadn’t planned the ‘start them young’ trick – but really we haven’t planned anything. We had been in hospital for a week, there was no food in the house so it seemed like a good idea —  and you know what it was. 

 

We ripped that bandaid off, as babies are easy. They just sleep when they are a few days old. So cafe life with a newborn is fine. It’s just more making yourself comfortable to go out and remembering to bring the long list of stuff that suddenly is imperative to your survival. All that ‘stuff’ you need with a newborn. 

 

We went out again a few days later to another cafe. Then it just became like second nature to us and the kids… But then Covid lockdowns happened, so that threw a spanner in our plans on having stress free Cafe Toddles.*

2. Trial cafe runs before inviting others

Get them used to it first before meeting up with your mates.  Do you have a lunch out planned with friends or family, and you’re worried about your Little Miss or Mister playing up because they aren’t used to it? 

 

Going out for lunch with friends and family can be a fun and exciting experience but it’s important to try and prepare your little ones beforehand. Meeting up with people they don’t know can lead to them feeling anxious or scared. It’s best to try and get them used to the experience of going to a cafe in a low pressure setting first.

 

Plan in advance to go out for coffee at your local cafe with them a few times. This makes it easier when going out with others, because you know what to expect.

 

3. Timing is everything

If you can make sure it’s not nap time. If you can control when you are heading to the cafe, make sure it’s not nap time or witching hour. Now if you’re meeting up with friends, and you haven’t got control over the time, you might have to work naps around it. Get Miss Toddler to have a nap before you go, or maybe you can run an errand further away first so they nap in the car on the way there. 

 

Never take them out at bedtime (if you can), as this is a recipe for disaster. In my experience, it’s just not worth it. You won’t have fun, and neither will they.

 

My toddlers wake up early, which is annoying. But great for heading to cafes. It means we get there before it’s busy. This means we aren’t in anyone’s way, and doesn’t make us feel like we are disturbing other customers. It also means your toddler can have a little extra time talking to the staff (if they are a Chatty Cathy like mine). 

 

Know when it’s time to leave — You know your toddler, and you know when they are done. Don’t wait until they are cracking it to leave. Look for the tired cues and make your exit then. 

 

4. Bring activities

From a recent Melbourne mum’s poll, 70% said the most important thing for a stress free cafe experience with toddlers is to bring activities.  In your bag, make sure you have activities you want them to play with. I like to have; some crayons, colouring books, stickers, cars, some figurines and a book to read. This covers most of your bases, some creativity, education and imagination. Have something for them to sit on, maybe even a playmat if you have room in your bag.

 

The art of distraction is a wonderful thing. Most toddlers can only focus on an activity for a few minutes. So in this case less is not more. More is more. 

 

If there is space, pick the table that’s away from others. That way the kids can sit on the floor and spread out a little to play with their activities.

 

5. Don’t care what others think

Easier said than done hey  —  but try. Don’t feel bad if Miss Toddler is having a tantrum because you wouldn’t let them have a second cupcake. Stand your ground to little Miss, and you do you. 

 

Others really don’t care if your toddler is cracking it. The cafe staff don’t care. The other customers don’t care. It’s most likely just you that cares. So don’t stress yourself. Everyone else there is a parent, grandparent, uncle, or sister — people get it. 

 

I’m sure your toddler is nothing compared to what they have seen before. Let your toddler get those big feelings out, and just keep calm and finish your coffee. 

 

6. Eat outside 

Lots of cafes have outdoor dining. Weather permitting, chose to sit outside. That way your toddler can talk at their noisy volume. They can look at the cars/diggers/police cars/dogs going past as entertainment. 

 

They can drop things without mushing it into the carpet — although I still try to pick most/some of it up so it doesn’t look like a disaster zone when I leave. Especially pastries, they leave lots of crumbs. 

 

It also means if there is an enclosed space, they can have a little run around. 

 

7. Order with care

If it’s on the menu, pick something that is premade, or will be fast. For example a muffin, croissant, or biscuit. This way Miss Toddler doesn’t have to wait around for 30min for food to arrive. 

 

Order your coffee in a takeaway container. Now I’m all about the environment, so you can use your Recyclable Cup. This allows for a quick getaway in case things get ugly.

 

If you can, don’t let Mr Toddler see the window of food. You know they will just pick the thing that you know they will never eat, and crack a wobbly if you don’t let them have it.

 

Give them the choice of the X or the X. This way they have a choice — but out of things you know they will actually eat (or will they).

 

8. Bring a takeaway container for leftovers

Even if you order your toddler their favorite meal. Chances are they (if your toddler is as unpredictable as mine) might not eat it. So rather than forcing them, or feeling bad about wasted food. Have a takeaway container in your bag, then they can have it for dinner or brekkie the next day. On the bright side, it saves you cooking. 

Being container ready is way better than wrapping the leftovers in a napkin and finding them squished all over the bottom of your handbag days (or months) later 🤦🏽‍♀️.

 

9. Emergency snacks

Yes, we are going to the cafe to eat. But any Mumma will tell you. Bring some snacks. The food you order might take a little while to come. And nothing worse than a hangry toddler. 

This also goes hand in hand with number 8 – as your child might request those hot chips, but then once they have been delivered to you, they decide they don’t want the hot chips. They have to learn you won’t order them something else. So it’s the hot chips or the snack in your bag. That’s it.

 

10. Emergency clothes

This is a top tip not just for cafe life, but for everyday stress free life outings with a toddler. Leave a spare change of clothes for the kids in a bag, in the boot of your car. That way you will never get caught out.

 

Having them in your car not only means that if there is some big disaster you always have a change of clothes on hand. But it also means you have one less thing to think about every time you leave the house, as you know there is a change of ‘emergency’ clothes on hand.

It also means you’re not the packhorse, carrying enough gear for a weekend away, when you are really only heading to your local cafe for an hour. 

 

11. Strap them in

If your kids allow it, strap them in. This could be in the form of a high chair, pram, baby carrier. Any way you can, you strap them down. 

It makes a more stress free experience know they can’t:

+ Escape

+ Nosedive off the chair and bleed all over the cafe

+ Run away

+ Steal other patron’s food

+ Jump in front of the wait staff

+ Touch things they shouldn’t be touching

If there is a play area then strapping them in whilst waiting for food won’t be needed. But at least whilst they are eating this will come in handy.

 

12. Make it an experience

Once your toddler gets the hang of going to a cafe. Start getting them involved in the full experience. Going to a cafe is an excellent way to learn how to deal with other people in a safe environment. It also gives them a bit of independence and responsibility. 

When your toddlers are pros at cafe life, then it’s a great time to try;

+ Ordering – Before heading to the cafe, you could practice or role-play with their toys. That way when they get there they are ready to go. Get them to ask what they want, and remind them to use their manners. This is so empowering for a little one to talk to an adult and explain what they want. What a thrill. 

+ Manners – remind them to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. Manners will get them far in life.

+ Trying something new – try ordering something different on the menu that they wouldn’t normally eat at home, they might surprise you and love it (remember you have your emergency snacks with you). 

+ Paying – get them to come to the counter to help pay. It might just be tapping that master card, but it’s still an interaction for them.

Now Cafe Tips For the trickier kids – or when you feel a meltdown a brewing

All toddlers have their moments. They can be unpredictable.

If you feel a meltdown brewing:

+ Order, walk around a bit, sit as soon as the food arrives

+ Dare I say it, the iPad or your phone, for an emergency situation 

+ Don’t be afraid to leave. If it’s not working, just get everything for takeaway

 

*Cafe life for the Post Covid Lockdown Toddlers 

Were your babies born between 2017-2021?… So now you have a Covid toddler that isn’t adjusted to the Cafe experience. You aren’t in the habit of taking the toddler out in public (especially if in Melbourne like us). So now you need to start all over. 

 

Toddlers don’t know how to act. So just take it easy on them. They are still learning what it’s like outside, how to act in a cafe or around friends. They will get there, be gentle.

If you are into Cafe Life – Try to take your toddler to eat out at a cafe with you every couple of months to make it a ‘normal’ but yet still a special experience. Eating out at cafes can get expensive, so make sure you remind your toddler that it’s a special privilege. You could go as a reward, treat or special occasion. 

 

Having a toddler doesn’t mean you have to give up the cafes. There are ways you can still enjoy the cafes with your toddler. Choose the cafes you go to that will guarantee success. You might not get a peaceful experience the first time. So make sure you have an escape plan. 

 

Are you looking for a cafe that welcomes toddlers? There are so many – but if you’re in the Seaford area pop into our cafe, Coffee For the People Roasting Co. We love kids!

We do a mean baby chino for that toddler in your life. We hold the marshmallow and add sultanas instead to make it a little healthier. 

Wondering about the best coffee in Melbourne, and where to take the kids? We have the list for you.

 

Have we left something off the list? – We would love to know. Comment below or email us below.